Follow Your Bliss

have a black hair
never pluck my eyebrows
have my mother’s nose
have my father’s attitude
have a big tummy
played guitar before

I’ve never been hospitalized
I  love the color of sea
I’ve cheated on boyfriends
I’ve owned fake credentials
But my hair is still black
and my tummy is still big
and I probably won’t always like the color of sea

I have firm breasts
I have lips that always smile
I have veins that bleed
I freak out when I’m nervous
I feel the pain of others
but cry for no reason
I like open flame
I’ve been selfish as a child
I’m from what you call ‘gangsta place of manila’
But hate riots
I’ve cheated on diets
I’ve faked receipts
But I still bleed
and my breasts won’t always be firm

I have strong shoulders
I have fair complexion skin
I have happy face borrowed from my mother
I have long nails which break regularly
My ears are strange
I don’t usually write
I used to make personal stuff for friends
I don’t brush my hair before bed
I cheated on tests
I faked flirtatious accents
But I still have fair complexion skin
and I probably wont have strong shoulders
and I may always write
But maybe I’ll start making personal stuff for friends again.

I love my life
I hate my job
I applied as a flight attendant because my mom wants me to
I talk a lot
I praise my mom
I idolize my dad
I’m pretty close to my team mates
I hate my leader
I try to analyze things
I sympathize my friends
But I still praise my mom
and I probably won’t always hate my leader
and I may always try to analyze things
But maybe I’ll always sympathize my friends

Geeshh..

       Everytime I see ‘mga anak ng dyos’, I envy their simple life. I never thought how complicated life is ’til now. Being the eldest in the family, I know that I have a big responsibility. My folks never told me how humongous it is..but it’s an unspoken rule. I’m trying to do my best. Doing household chores, cooking, etc. etc. But I know that its not enough and I’m not doing a good job. Sometimes I grudge about other people’s lives. I get disappointed when I see other people who don’t have to worry about anything. I ask myself.. why am I here? Why is it that I dont have that? yada yada. As I get older, the responsibility becomes heavier. It’s getting scary everyday because I feel like I  have a lot of tasks left-out and needs to backtrack on them. So the responsibilities are buried on a deep hole and I need to dig them one by one. Sniff sniff. If only I can just bury them deeper and just  leave them behind. But I can’t. It’s probably an unspoken  responsibility that I need to accomplish. Aside from the fact  that I love my family and I wanna make sure that they’ll have a good future. I wanna make sure that my folks will not work when they get older. I remember talking to someone, who has the same situation w/ mine, and she’s doing a very good jod with it. She told me ‘Take it as a challenge and not as a burden.’ Starting that day I realized that it’s time for me to be mature enough and face my responsibilities with confidence. Whether how complicated it is I have to do my best because I know that it’s for me and my family’s sake. Sigh.. grabe pla! But it’s ok.. kung kaya nila kaya ko din.

        Now, I love to hear stories about how people strive just to help their family. Absolutely, definitely, positively amazing! I admire them! When things get complicated I just think that ‘Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.’ We live by choice and the decision that we made  depends on what we think is right for us. Kaya nga ‘Ang isang bagay pag ginawa mo ng may super duper love..ndi na obligasyon ang tawag don..di po ba??’

     I work at a call center, I don’t dislike it, but as with any other job, some days are good & some days are the worst. What I can’t figure out is why do people come to work everyday just to say how much they hate being there and how they are ready to leave…..but they are the main ones that stay on the job for several years??? (ouch!)

     My job is very exhausting and demanding but what makes my job easy is my team mates. Fortunately, I was given a chance to be part of the mentor team. This team is composed of smart and funny people. People who are very serious w/ their work and mix it with fun! fun! fun! (Tagalog Mode)

Vanessa \Van*es"sa\ : The Proprietess. Ang babaeng bitch pag malapit na dumating and red flag. Mahilig sa kape, yosi at chuck taylor. May nagmamahal sa kanya (na wish ko sana mahalin nya din hehe). One time nagpunta ko sa kanila, niloko ko si Dra. Eserjose na may BF na xa. Ang sagot ba naman skin.. ‘Matino yan si Van’ (Pag matino, ndi pde magka BF?!). Super close sa mga kapatid. Magaling gumawa ng report. Ang report na-co-convert nya sa thesis. Gastadera. Hindi nag-iipon. Kina karir niya tlg ang pagiging mentor. Pro ang sikretong matagal na nyang tinatago.. may anorexia sya haha! Pro seriously, now na paalis ka na.. ma-mi-miss kita..!

Mac : The lover. Super sincere magmahal. Wag ka magsasabi ng secret dito kasi for sure pag biniro ka.. patay na. Isa ‘to sa mga ‘kuya figure’ lists ko. Take note, kumekembot siya pag lasing AT alam niya ang apat na uri ng ipis. One round pa!! Everytime na makakakita ko ng T2 sa floor na super ndi deserving.. na-bi-bitter ako for him because magaling xa talaga. Period. No erase. Kasi naman ang pangit ng sistema dito, hmp! Nowadays, napapansin ko lagi xang tulog sa station nya.. mukhang napaglilihihan ni Gary! 

Melissa \Me*lis"sa\ : The claustrophobic. It’s no secret that she is the ‘Helen Vela’ of the team because you can talk / confide to her about anything. Mahal nya si Alfonso. Interested sya sa Japan (may balak cguro maging japayuki). Responsible daughter. Makinis ang skin. Matalino, eh ikaw ba naman cum laude ng UP (Mel, for sure pag nabasa mo to, sasabihin… SSHHH!!!). Pinagsisigawan ko dito.. Cum Laude po sya ng UP, ang galing no?! Sa kanya ko napatunayan and meaning ng ‘You can never put a good woman down.’ I’m happy that I was given a chance to meet her. I know that everybody feels the same way. Isa pa, hindi na sya maruning kumain ng kanin (sowsyalan!).

Lymuel \lee*moo"wuel\ : AKA Kevin Madrigal. Ito ang ka-team ko na low profile. Pero wag ka, yaming ito! Pdeng manampal ng pera (Ooppss baka makidnap!) Tahimik. Tier2 material. TL material. Magaling. Matalino. Matiyaga. Mabait. Makulit. Kinakarir every call. Sweet sa asawa. Responsible father. Proactive. Masarap kausap. Masayahin. Namana nanana (Love Fools by Nina tune). Vic Sotto look alike at higit sa lahat..  Manyakis. Mahilig sa Privatepinay.com. Wahaha! (Sana ndi mabasa ni kumander)

Mickey \mick*ee\ : The Virgin Chekwa (for one year). Mahal ko to. Sweet (How i wish). Makulit. Balita ko nananampal din ‘to ng pera. Sabi nya nung nanakawan cla, tulog daw xa. Pro feeling sa sobrang pagka singkit nya.. ayun.. ndi nakita ang magnanakaw. Super bait. Marunong makisama. Yun ang nagustuhan ko dito eh.. ahihi.

Lance \lans\ : Queen of the team. A very responsible son, daughter pla. Napakatalino. Mahilig kay Regine. Intraday material (ay mali.. dapat pla MOD material muna). Kung tunay na lalaki ka lang, pag-aagawan ka namin nila Van (baka naman pede pa?!). Cguro fwend mas ok kung papataba ka ng konti.. haha. Bakit ka nga pla pumayat ng ganyan? pahinga ka naman kasi! Take it easy! Pag kinukwento kita kay palan, super bilib siya sayo. Salamat din sa pag-explain skin ng ‘Why quality?’ Super kulit nito. Pag off niya mejo tahimik ang team. Very artistic (obuse ba?!). Malandi ka kasi eh! "You’re welcome!!"

Blue \bloo\ : Animal lover. Gurl, sabi nila ang mga taong mahilg sa animals, tumatanda na. HEHE! Masayahing tao. Happy go lucky type. If ever given a chance, sana makilala pa kita, hihi. Nung una talaga, ang tawag ko sayo, the refresh girl, haha! Grabe ‘to pag masaya.. kung tumawa kakaiba. She gets along easily w/ a lot of people. Marunong makisama. Pero pag nag-pa-picture xa.. wawa naman mga kasama nya kasi nawawalan na kami ng space, haha! I wish you MORE happiness girl!

Andrew Ross \an*droo ros\ : AKA spongebob. I’m not sure kung bakit Spongebob ang tawag sayo, bakit nga ulit?! Napakatahimik. Independent. Sino ba talaga? Andrea or Mayu? Pro malakas ang vibes ko na since available na c Mayu..this is it!! Sana magkatuluyan na kyo. "We’ll MRT ourselves!"

Carlo \kar*lo\ : AKA Usher. Yeah yeah! In fairness, karir ang picture mo sa friendster. Camon kols! Mapalad kang bata. Kung saka sakali pag-aralan mong mag-rap or kumanta baka madiscover ka. Ang magiging bansag sayo ‘Usher of the Phils’. Ska ligawan mo na c Carla.. nak ng.. isa kang torpe! "Lets get it ooonnn!!!’

Eugene \yoo*jeen\ : The Fashionista. Super bait ng taong to. Makulit. Mabango. Mabait (redundant). Nakatayo buhok nya before. Sya yung pinakaunang agent na na-coach ko.. mukhang mali yung approach! Paiba iba ng cellphone (dami pera). Mejo may pagka-manyak din. Ang ganda ng site nya, check nyo www.weirdspaghetti.blogspot.com honga pla… bakit yun ang name?! Nakakain ka na ba ng spaghetti na weird ang lasa?

Lykhur \lee*kr\ : The Chickboy. Pde xang taga sagot ng phone ni Ed pag busy xa. Marunong mag-compute ng APM. T2 material din. Minsan (ay madalas pla) nga mas magaling pa sa t2.. hehe.  Bilib ako dito.. pag may pagkakataon.. matutulog tlg. Aba eto pa.. maraming gurlaloo ang nahuhumaling dito. Lagi xang pinupuntahan sa station pra mnghiram ng ballpen. hehe. Pakiramdam ko ang sikreto nito eh yung buhok nya.. yun plng makita eh nalalaglag panty ni.. chuva.

Jing \jing din?\ : The Writer. Bait to. Very deep person. Kung gsuto nyo xa makilala pa check her website www.siyoktong.blogspot.com. Mama Jing, I wish you one thing.. PEACE OF MIND. Honga pla, lamo madalas nakikita ko nagyayakapan kayo ni RICO ARANIEGO.. MU ba kayo?!

Lee \li\ : Mr. Can you not. Naging mentee ko. Ngayon mentor na din at wave 4 ng MDP. haha. May future tlg to sa kol ctr kc mentee ko plng xa alam nya na ang goal nya in life. Yun nga lng.. isa xang aliping sanggigilid. Wala kc xang pera. Isang timawa. Laging gutom..haha. Mga mumurahin ang gamit lalo na ung iPod Nano nya, niregalo na nga lng yun sa kanya kc may naawa pra lng magkaron xa kc baka gumawa ng ndi maganda. Makulit. Karir mag kols. Mahirap. walang pera. Mahirap ulit. Isang bagay ang gustong gusto namin..Fortune plant.

Russ \ras\ : AKA Julius Bally. Mabait. Tahimik. Silent threat kc magaling to. Anything you ask, may alam. Akalain mong pati carbonara, may suggestion xa. Isa pa, close cla ni kevin madrigal. Parehong founder ng alam nyo na.

Christian \kris*chen\ : The quiet one. Pagdating ko sa ofis one tym.. nkareceive ako ng email sa kanya. Yun pla tungkol sa scandal nya. haha! Nakakaloka! Isend ko daw sa kanya kc nabasa nya sa PC ni jing. Anover?!! ahihi. In fairness, pangarap ko din magkaron ng scandal (makagawa nga) , anuba feeling? hehe.

Gary \gar*i\ : Ang babaeng buntis. Akala ko nung una tumataba klng.. alanya.. may laman na pla!! hehe.

Allan \A*lan"\ : Ang taong ndi nag-jacket kahit ubod at saksakan na ng lamig sa floor. HSBC guy. Dami ng points nito sa HSBC andami ng na-refer eh. Yun nga lng yung akin ndi pa dumadating kc daw super layo..nampoota. ang fave posing nito sa pic is yung gwapings look. anover?!! Funny guy. Ndi pa kami maxado close. Mahirap kcng makipag close sa CHEKWA eh. haha!! Bait to.

Cookie \koo*ke\ : Low profile punk. Ndi ko alam ganon pla pagkatao mo. Madaming hikaw sa tenga. Lahat cla, dumating at aalis. Pero one thing is for sure, I will cherish all the memories. kung may dadating man.. sana maging kasing saya nila.

Nei \ney\ : The Gangster. Takot sa girlfriend. Under de saya. Mamatay tao. Foul magbiro minsan. Walang kwentang tao. Rapport king. Mabait. Masarap yung cake na sabi nya xa daw nag-bake eh obuse naman na si Ice yung gumawa. Responsible son. Babaero. At higit sa lahat, marunong makisama. Bait ‘to, kailangan mo lanh espelengin–> tama ba?!

Yray \yray???!!!\ : Chekwang T2. Minsan mabait, minsan may topak. Mejo hindi kami close eh. Kala ko nung una bading ka.. hehe. Totoo. Kasi nman tahimik ka eh. Pro one advise.. ‘Dude, you’re here to help us, not to fuck us up." Hehe.

     I met a guy more than 8 years ago and I did not expect that he’ll play a big role in my life. I was a junior student then.. too young huh? Well, this guy turned out to be my boyfriend of 7 years & 5 months, alan. We’ve had major problems before but luckily, with God’s help, we surpassed those problems. We’re pretty contended right now because everything fall into place.

     We were introduced to each other back in highschool. After courting and stuff, I finally said yes. I admit it. The so-called courting was very short, indeed. This guy has a very good sense of humor. He always makes me smile kahit to the highest level na ang galit ko. Haha!

     Bad things happened before. But when we talk about it now, we just laugh the hell out of it. But there are things that I just can’t forget. There are three sections on our batch and I was part of the star section of course. Funniest thing is that one of my friends told me that we’re like pigs trying to fight over a ball (ball, referring to alan). She said that he has a GF on each section. So one thing came to my mind, that SLY DEVIL! I have to know the truth. So me and my peers investigate. But can’t get concrete info about it..hmm (galing magtago). They said that one of them would be the ‘nigger’, ‘the slut’ and me (the sweet angel, hehe). That is the most unforgettable thing , ever. 

     But right now, we’re happy. We’re not a perfect couple but we’re happy. We have adjusted on our differences and still trying to make the relationship better. But who knows.. everything comes to an end. But I hope that this will last forever. I know that we have each other right now because God has a purpose. I feel like I’m on my home. You know that feeling? I could not stay away from him. I could not stop staring and loving him and I STILL can’t stop loving him. He completes me.                                                                                                                                                                  

     I guess I just want to write here my own personal experience with this kind of relationship as a testament to the fact that regardless of the obstacles that stand in the way, *anything* is possible if two people are genuinely meant for each other. I am convinced today that nothing happens by coincidence… True love exists for those who are blessed…as I believe we all are in some way.

    December 26, 2004.. The day the tsunami happened. People died. Survivors can’t cope. Some people are still missing. It took a week before I heard about the tragedy. My job is very demanding and tiring so I just sleep after my work. Anyway, after hearing the news, I researched for it on the web and realized how massive were the damages. I’m not referring to the buildings, houses, cars, etc. but I’m referring to people’s lives. People who lost their loved-ones, most of them their WHOLE FAMILY. I think this is the reason why I’m writing this.. because I never want to go through the same experience and I can’t afford to lose any one of them. How many of us would ever really understand what it is like to lose not just loved ones, but a whole family. I DON’T.

    I have read several stories the day it happened. They were traumatizing. Their stories were very detailed. I can picture how they were pushed under the water. Some of them were lucky to be alive right now because they were able to grabbed a stray log.  Some of them have to climbed a tree and wait for several days to be rescued w/ a python clinging  on the same tree. 2/3 of a town were immediately erased from a map. 90,000 people were dead in a matter of seconds.

    I remember one story that a couple lost their son who has down syndrome. For me, this is the depressing part. A lot of children died. Somehow this tragedy took away the good life ahead of them. It’s something that they can’t control. I’ve seen various pictures of victims on the internet, a few of them were children. I can’t stand it. I dunno why, but I really can’t. Seeing their pictures reminds me the feeling on how bereaving it is to see victims of famine and yes, most of them were innocent children. I got into a site wherein pictures were posted into a wall of missing children. I just wanna show you part of the phrases that were listed:

• Max Werkelm is four…his big brother Charlie is all of 6.

• Charlotte Svensson’s would have her tenth birthday in just two weeks

• Tim Leger is five. He was almost surely lost because he was in the area hardest hit.

• Their Christmas gathering of family and friends totaled seventeen people. Fourteen are missing, including all the children.

• WE ARE SEARCHING FOR 20 HOURS A DAY, SLEEPING ALMOST NOTHING.

• Sometimes a picture brought a smile…a happy moment just a few days ago.

• DON’T WORRY. IF THEY ARE DEAD, IF THEY DIED…THEY DIED HAPPY BECAUSE THEY WERE SO HAPPY HERE.

• Teemu loved playing ice hockey.

• Four year old Julia was, said her grandmother, my own little angel.

    I know that a lot of people are contributing and volunteering to help the victims. I offer them my prayers. Both for the victims and for the good-hearted people who offer services to help.

This is a tribute for the victims of this tragedy, most especially for people who lost their loved ones. I admire your courage and strength. As I’ve said earlier, I can’t afford to go through to the same experience, I’d probably die too! A year later, there could be a lot of tourists again on that area, and that means there are children. And I wished them an ordinary life. A chance to grow and spend their youth at its best. May I never see another picture posted on bulletin boards, because I have enough pictures, already in my mind.

    Reading stories like this makes me realize how important life is and how short it can be. So live your life to the fullest. Don’t waste a moment to make someone’s day. Kaya kung sino man nagbabasa nito ngayon…mahal kita dude!! hehe.

     Hmm.. This is my very first blog. I never thought that I would do something like this because as we all know.. blog is only for people who can write. But who cares..! I’m here to enjoy this freedom and tell something about ‘whatever’!

    To start off, I’m here because I wanna share a story about my so-called life. We are 8 in the family.. me + lec + malay + talia + itot + asar + mama + papa… hehe! I grew up in Manila and lived there for 13 years, 13 years full of memories! Felix Huertas Street, I think this is a good explanation of what you call ‘gangsta place’. I still remember 2 fraternity group fighting and throwing ‘pilbox’ to each other, YES, each other! My dad would always tell me not to look at the window because there’s a white lady at the Narra tree. But I never believed him because he just don’t want me to see kids fighting and probably ‘killing’ each other.

    At the other side of the street, we have this what we call ‘iskinita’ where aling manlulugaw (I forgot her name) and the japayuki sisters lived. Aling manlulugaw has a husband named Mang Romy. Aside from the fact the he looks like a rapist, I always see him sleeping  on the side of the street because he was too drunk to walk home. Then, there’s this japayuki sisters, most of the time, an old man would always go to there place and some ‘chismosas’ said that they can see them doing ’something’ in the car.. and I have a good idea what it is!!

    We also have this house of ‘madyungan’. It was raid several times but the operation still continues, for some reason. I remember my dad would go home late at night and would have an argument w/ my mom due to ’swimming reasons’, if you know what I mean.

    This iskinita leads to a street named Sulu. I remember seeing some teens dancing in the tune of ‘My Girl’ hahaha! The only time that I’d see them is when I buy this P5.50 chicken sandwich from Mang Tony, w/c is absolutely delicious!!

    There was a nearby Jonis (old version of Red Ribbon/ Goldilocks) at our home. It was caught on a fire and people said that the owner died because he jumped from his rooftop because firemen can’t reach him from the top…  some rich guy huh? Anyway, the fire was near the bakery called ‘El Cielo’. I heard one guy telling my mom that they they did call the firemen but only to make sure that their house will not be caught on fire. That time it came to my mind that some rich people are crazy, stupid and selfish…!!

    There’s a lot of story at this what i call ‘gangsta place’…. the girl that was raped at the iskinita, the daughter of a japanese guy who ran away w/ her BF, the ‘El Cielo’ family, the Gianan family, who owned a humongous German Sheperd dog, wherein his eldest and youngest daughter got pregnant at the same time, coincidence huh?!!

    Hmm.. us? We live at this old house owned by Imang Ada (May God bless her soul). There were 3 rooms at the first floor and 4 rooms at the second floor. It’s one of the dirtiest and creepiest house ever! There were 7 families living at that house. But never in my life I went at the bathroom alone coz it’s really scary.  I remember my mom swearing that we have to move to another house or we will die of dirt and germs. I thought that it was a bad idea bec I don’t wanna leave my old school and friends. But after 13 years of dirt and germs we moved to Quezon City.

    My family is composed of Batch 1 and 2 because there is a big age gap between child no. 2 and 3. Eleven years, I think. Leslie, now 20 years of age, is a nursing student. I know that she will have a good career knowing  that I’m stuck here at call center. Tele and Text babad  tong sis ko na ‘to!! There are times I thought that she’s irresposible because she would rather use the phone that do household chores w/c is expected from us since we are the eldest in the family. She’s a bit immature but I HOPE she’ll change in God’s time. But I love her…! I miss the times when we were kids when things are really simple.

    Malay… the beauty queen in the family. Just 10 years old and has been a muse for several times.. Ms. SNNS, Ms. UN, Ms. Intrams.. haay. Aside from the fact that she ’s always part of top 15 in the class. I remember one time telling her to play outside (FYI: It was weekend!)and she answered me ‘Ate, basa nlng ako libro.’  Whoah!!

    Talia.. the tomboy in the family. Haha! Her classmates calls her Ate Talia bec she’s the tallest in the class. We call her tomboy because one time my mom bought her spaghetti strap blouse and said that she don’t wanna wear it, ever. She also loves breakdancing and playing basketball.

    Itot.. the gay in the family. Crazy!! Hmm.. we’re not really sure. Soft spoken. Sweet. Thoughtful. Gwapo. We think that it’s because of the environment —> 4 girls + 2 boys = what do you expect?! But it’s ok. Que sera sera.

    Asar.. My life!

    My dad.. He worked as a butler in London for several years. As a kid, he really spoiled me w/ material stuff. The only time that I met him was when I turned 10 years old , I think. I can call him alcoholic bec I see him w/  drunk most of the times. Hmm.. a very strict person but  super sipag!!

    My mom.. mahal na mahal ko to! I want to give everything to her, if only I can.

    Pretty long for a first blog, huh?!